Few discs have subjected the naive listener to the insurmountable level of suck that
Mennen shoveled out on "Freakazoid". An album of poor taste, terrifyingly horrible lyrics, laughably distorted vocals and cookie cutter songs stuck in the "wannabe cool" grunge of 90s past. Yet it wasn't released in the 90s and thus showed it's age and the out-of-touch nature of the band even moreso than one would think possible. The album was just plain bad. Although it didn't have to be. Joss
Mennen, the band's namesake and vocalist, was a celebrated singer in the 80s for Zinatra and many held him in high regards as one of the frontrunners of melodic Dutch music. Being let loose in his own band has proved disastrous as they have chased fame by grasping at straws (and pitiful musical "ideas") that could only herald in the dump truck of suck to come and dump out their latest release,
"Planet Black".
"Planet Black" is in a league of its own because it dares to go into the kind of unsavory territory that "Freakazoid" only sniffed around at. This latest embarrassment is more straightforward and those that held a celebratory party extolling the virtues of "Freakazoid" have even sunk this
"Planet" down a black hole of criticism. After a few spins of the album it seems they have good reason. The melodies have been sucked dry, and so has any inspiration. It's even more modernized than the previous album, and that's just depressing, since that was about as refreshing as a slice of holey, moldy head cheese.
Contemporary you could say, but not in a good way. There's nothing that's outright catchy and only a moment or two comes off as even a bit memorable. Every song has the shared quality of falling absolutely flat, even when they pop up a strange little jazz bit towards the end. It might not be expected, nor is it welcome, or has anything to do with the disc at all. The worst offender, strangely is the title track. Now this is where everything should be clicking together and falling in place. A song that fairly highlights your album and gives a good impression of your material. Most bands roll out their most radio friendly number that screams
"listen to me!" or atleast offers something offbeat and memorable. Afterall, the band named their bloody release after it, so it has to be special in some miniscule way, one would assume. Instead,
"Planet Black" - the song - gets
some of this right. It does embody most of what the disc does to try and impress. Clunky guitar riffs, a fudgy, cumbersome center and a nice thunking veil of distortion. The vocals are grating, and the production is tin can worthy. This song singularly has the worst production and presentation of anything on the entire
"Black" experience. What a waste.
"Green Elephants and Blue Clouds", scores brownie points with its tripped out, hippie name, ultimately does nothing to further the good name of
Mennen.
"Power to the Bone" has this thick riff which opens the piece and is pierced occasionally by little yipping
"yeahs". Joss sings with more attitude than finesse, the acoustic trappings come off clunky (instead of classy), and the entire song just feels heavy handed and uninspired. The chorus featuring the title repeated is just ridiculous as well... you can only vocalize
"power to the bone" so many times before it's just silly. Phallic references are unnecessary here, but are considered. Oh yes, definitely considered.
"Wait Another Day" is acoustic noodling, a bit aimless and some awkward vocal moments chucked in for good measure. There are some smooth verse passages and a couple of parts where Joss shows real promise and a glimpse of raw emotion, but it's songs like these that are few and far between for
Mennen. The quieter, contemplative mood seems to fit them better than the chunky modernized rock tracks. It's actually a fairly decent tune, something that "Freakazoid" didn't really have, so perhaps there is hope yet. Of note is the fact the album does come with a bonus disc that has it remixed in surround sound (as if anyone wants something like
that) and has a "making of" segment that's pure throwaway. Call it a bonus and it doesn't seem like so much like a ripoff since it does come with the disc, but you get the feeling that (like the album itself) this could have been done so much better. And of course, for anyone that is already an established fan of
Mennen, well you probably already have this anyway. For everyone else... Zinatra "self titled"... that's what
Mennen could be.
Written by
Alanna Sunday, June 22, 2008
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