"What a talentless piece of crap" was my initial thought while listening to this album for the first time. That may sound harsh, but after giving it 5 more chances my opinion has only risen slightly. Uninspired, repetitive, unoriginal and at the same time toe curlingly funny, this is Power Metal at its absolute worst. It has all the clichés and uses them in the worst imaginable way.
Skylark is an Italian band and this is their seventh album. A couple of their older ones (Divine Gates I & II) are well worth a listen, but this one is only for comedic relief. The last album Wings came out in 2004 and was really bad as well, but this one tops it.
The keyboard melodies sound like they are taken straight out of some 6-year old kids fantasy, they are
that captivating. Lead singer Kiara instantly claims the throne for the most out of tune vocalist I have ever heard. She's out of breath during most of the album and when she screams you'd better hold on to your balls or they will start climbing. When she goes into high pitch mode it sounds absolutely horrible. She may look gorgeous but she can't sing this kind of music. I'm really stumped that stuff like this gets recorded and released.
Lions are the World has got to be the worst vocal performance I have ever heard. Oh my god!!!
The first thing you have to look past with a
Skylark album is usually the hideous production. The production on this album is better than on many of their older releases, but still not really near a professional level. The cymbal sound is way off, the keyboard sound too thin, the vocals too loud and the guitar sound is very anonymous. Overall the production lacks power and fails to make an impression.
The opening song
Music, has a nice beginning but gets repetitive half way through, failing to make a good start to the album. The last two songs, which have Fabio Dozzo on vocals are the reason why this album doesn't score lower. There are definitely listenable parts in the last two songs, but while he is more bearable than Kiara he is still not impressive.
I will now list the moments on the album which are over the top funny, so you don't have to waste your time looking for them. This album is a prime example of things gone very bad and it can be used as a sort of "do's and dont's"-guide of how to make a convincing power metal album, with Fairytales representing all the dont's...
Do include the obligatory ultra high pitch scream, which should always be done in a convincing way with equal amounts of balls and power (Examples:
Lost Horizon, Iced Earth,
Manowar). Don't include the ultra high pitch scream if it sounds anything like the one at 1:13 in
A Rose in Her Hand, which compares to the most anoying sound in the world. Did someone sneak up on her in the studio while she was recording this?
Do hire a beautiful female singer to front your band and become way popular (Examples: Nightwish, Within Temptation, Arch Enemy). Don't hire a beautiful female singer, proudly splash pictures of her in her underwear on your website, but forget to audition her voice before going into the studio. Otherwise you will end up with parts like the ones in
Lions Are the World from 4:25 to 6:08 and 8:26 to 8:51 or
I'm The Evil from 1:37 to 1:59 or
A Rose In Her Hand from 0:52 to 1:15 or
Moonlight Shadow from 0:49 to 1:00 or
First Light from 4:06 to 4:42 and the bit at 2:00.
Do take a classic pop song and metalize it, adapting it to your style while you're at it (Examples:
At Vance - Several Abba songs,
Blind Guardian - Mr. Sandman,
Gamma Ray - It's a Sin). Don't take a classic pop song and butcher it completely by removing the heart of the song while, of all things, adding a troll to help out with the chorus. I find it impossible to describe
Skylark's version of Mike Oldfield's
Moonlight Shadow properly. There are no words for this heinous deed.
Do make a monumental epic track which stands as the pinnacle of the album (Examples:
Symphony X - The Odyssey,
Lost Horizon - Highlander,
Manowar - Achilles) Don't make an 18 minute epic called
Little Red Riding Hood and expect to be taken serious when it goes absolutely nowhere and includes a completely ridiculous wolf sample. This song deserves to be eaten by the big bad wolf...
Do make a keyboard solo which either impresses and entices the listener or makes you sit back and close your eyes in awe of the atmosphere (Examples of bands who excel at this: Dream Theater, Rhapsody,
Symphony X). Don't make a keyboard solo which doesn't fit with the rest of the song and makes the listener doze off, like the one from 11:31 to 14:00 in
Little Red Riding Hood.
A couple of other funny moments include the opening vocals to
First Night as well as the main keyboard melody of this song. And what is up with that "ahah" at 0:50? Or the soprano-like voice in
Little Red Riding Hood at 9:10? Yes, I could go on for a long time with small moments like these, but I think you get the point. Studying this album is only fun for so long. Enough already...
There are passages and melodies in various songs, when no one is singing, which point toward something greater, but overall this album is so horrifyingly bad that it often defies words. If you have no respect for Italian power metal then you won't find it here, look another way...
Written by
Steen Friday, October 28, 2005
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