House of Lord's "Cartesian Dreams" is a step backward for a band that has just been hurdling forward over the past two albums. The lineup still includes a very tight sounding James Christian, and the blazing guitars of Jimi Bell. Yet the songwriting has taken a considerable nosedive into a more retro direction. "Cartesian" tries the band's hand at making a fun, party album. The kind of 80s glam/stadium rock inspired up-front music that catered to the teenage crowd. These guys seem a little long in the tooth to be cranking silly tracks that seem birthed from a union between Bon Jovi, Autograph, and Y&T. The lyrics stumble on being painfully bad instead of the quirky they were shooting for, and the cover is way too serious and modernistic, making an ill match for the music contained within.

The opener is a serious affair that latches onto catchy hooks, a sandswept otherworldly atmosphere and some haunting vocals by Christian. "Desert Rain" captures the terror of our real world Iraq situation, and channels a touch of rage in the music. "A Simple Plan" is a lovely ballad that showcases the sweeter side of James' voice and some choice guitar work by Bell that's fluttery acoustic and decidedly delicate. The standout favorites are two songs that are playful and contain lyrics that miss the mark, but their rhythms, melodies and Christian's smoldering "want you" voice just crackles and sizzles in the sexual fire.  "Never Look Back" has the guitars on crank, the vocals set up on scream and the band just powerhouses through this one. A bold, huge song that showcases big guitar riffs and even bigger vocals. A very classic 80s style to this rolling thunder rocker. 
 
The percussion heavy, "Born to Be Your Baby" is first up, coming out like a Y&T song and making references to the classroom and the barroom respectively, but don't forget the backroom, that's where the action is. Energetic, high octane stadium rock n' roll that lays down a super solo from an under appreciated modern guitar god.  The vocals just make you weak in the knees, pulse pounding in your heart, and overcome with the sheer sexuality unleashed in this monster rocker.   "Joanna" continues the spice with that insistent urge to nail a red hot groupie that's driving the rock star insane because he keeps missing her in stops around the world. But when he catches her... you just know fireworks are going to be going off.

The rest is more miss than hit, with the silly Keel/Danger Danger style "Bangin'", that is definitely a big track but loops repetitive like a hoop snake, the dismal cover of (Glen Campbell's) "Repo Man" that is flat and unattractive. Robin Beck's appearance kind of ruins it with her very unsexy shrieking, like a middle aged cat getting its tail stepped on, her contributions just kills the vibe dead. "The Bigger They Come" and "Saved By Rock" are typical run-of-the-mill 80s album filler tracks, with "Saved" being one of those celebrations to the greatness of the genre that you have heard a million times before with just as many bands.  Neither are terrible, but they do not lift the disc either.

The decision to pair with Mark Baker (songwriter for "Demon's Down" and Signal's "Loud and Clear") has been a disaster. He seems to have run out of ideas and these deja vu songs are drowned in retro-boredom. Jimi Bell's solos lack the punch that he presented on "World Upside Down" and the songs are a messy sort and just flail all over the place. There are a few choice cuts, but overall, this "Cartesian Dreams" leaves alot to be desired. House of Lords is so much better than this.

Written by Alanna
Sunday, August 30, 2009
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Alanna: 6/10

Members: 6/10 - Average of 1 ratings.



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Comment by Little Drummer Boy (Member) - Wednesday, October 7, 2009

View Profile Comments: 166 Ratings: 46 For James Christian and HOL they should not have Mark Baker on for another project writing on the whole CD. They were doing just fine on the last two releases. Bangin', Saved by Rock are dull and I definitely have to say nothing Repo Man is the one song I could not listen through again. Those three in particular sucks the life out of the CD. I found the lyrics in Born To Be My Baby belonged to bands like Cinderella and Poison in the early years of glam....hmmmm cheese comes to mind. Funny thing though HOL did songs like that in the early years as well such as Slip Of The Tongue and Laydown Staydown but were done in a fashion that was oozing super charged sexuality with out sounding ridiculous lyrically. The bridge in Born To is amateur, the cliche phrases used in the verses hurt and the chorus is *groan*. To bad really because musically it rocked. As for The Bigger They Come I liked the direction of the song. Did it fit the direction of the CD not really but then again neither did Repo Man and that one I definitely did not like. I think they could have added another min 1/2 to The Bigger They Come to flesh out the story (sounds unresolved) and composed few musical twists to pull us in. Stronger Intro, a strong compositional break after the Chorus's (extra 12 beats) and a stronger use of keys to make the movement grand after the second Chorus as a compliment going into Bell's solo. If done right those passages could be used in the final chorus. Joanna does have a good story but alas I was bored with the music. With the Euro release there is a bonus track that should should have been in place of Repo Man for the North American so we did not have to endure trying to listen to it the first time. The Train is a decent closer. Highlights, are the tracks I have not mentioned here. Personal favorite is Never Never Look Back. Killer!!!!!!!! Posted by Little Drummer Boy Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Comment by Alanna (Staff) - Thursday, October 8, 2009

View Profile Comments: 245 Oh yes! Some of the lyrics on this album are SO bad! Especially in "Born to be Your Baby". I just try to shut out the lyrics and just ride the vibe of the song, which is very good. I believe HOL were doing fine on their own too which is why I'm puzzled over the collaboration with Baker who just seemed to muck things up. Repo Man is a cover and a crappy choice for one too. A shame! Posted by Alanna (Staff) Thursday, October 8, 2009